


(sol)ace

by rischaa



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26862994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rischaa/pseuds/rischaa
Summary: Jinseong just wants Sanghyeok to look at him. Unfortunately, Sanghyeok’s looking elsewhere.It’s easy enough to not say anything, but Jinseong has always been there speaking silently.Sanghyeok has yet to look and listen.
Relationships: Han "Peanut" Wang-ho/Lee "Faker" Sang-hyeok, Lee "Faker" Sangh-hyeok/Park "Teddy" Jin-seong
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	(sol)ace

**Author's Note:**

> this my first work here. i've wanted to write something here months back, but i didn't like it back then. this is it now, fleshed out and what i feel is much better than it was three-four months back. thank you to sun for being one of my motivations to finish this.
> 
> it's unbeta'd so apologies for slight mistakes here and there. 
> 
> this is a fictional work and does not represent an accurate description of who the characters are in real life. 
> 
> [ ♫ ; listened to [it just is - eaj x seori ft. keshi's strat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBpaB2YzX8s&ab_channel=eaJ) \+ [right here - keshi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ulR00x-B1I&ab_channel=KeshiVEVO) +[ eyes blue like the atlantic pt. 2 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjeDSJjhhkI&ab_channel=AlecBenjamin) whilst writing it]

**_i. notifications_ **

The thunder rumbles, clouds dark and Jinseong feels the anger of the skies resonate with his chest. The clouds shake, yelling in madness, yearning for catharsis. He hears the click of several umbrellas pop open along with hurried steps of sneakers across the jaded stone pathways. Jinseong huffs to himself and clicks his phone open once more.

_No new notifications._

He sighs and shoves it back in his pocket, continuing to walk aimlessly against the current of people rushing to get back to their dorms or their next class. Every footstep feels heavier as his heart thinks of the lack of notifications once again. He thinks and _thinks of it,_ the scene of scrolling through an empty notification screen again and again. Jinseong feels broken inside, simply thinking of it and what it means for it to be empty. The frustration bubbles in him, burning against the bones of his ribcage and swallowing his lungs whole. His heart starts to drown along in it and it _sinks._

It sinks, the weight of his heart heavy with secrets and stolen looks of _them._

Jinseong thinks of the time they said they’d be there when he needed them, but his notification screen remains empty; just like their empty promises. He doesn’t understand it at all. His heart gives and gives, body aching for reciprocation and all he gets is being left to wait to the side. His heart gives and it accepts everything blindly and irrationally. It ticks him off, the rush of anger kissing the tendrils of every nerve in his system. 

He checks again, wishing that _maybe just maybe_ , they’ll reply. Instead, there’s a raindrop on his screen blurring the background. Then another. 

Jinseong looks up and the rain drizzles, hitting his cheeks and his glasses. 

_Damn them, it’s even started raining now,_ Jinseong curses them out in his brain. Soon the curses become intangible in his mind and he wishes he’d stop thinking of them. He really wishes his heart didn’t decide to tether itself to them the moment they had met them. Jinseong wishes and wishes for many things, but everything in him aches and burns for one thing most. 

He really wishes they’d come now. So, he checks his phone once more.

It’s been raining for fifteen minutes now and Jinseong’s nearly drenched head to toe. He’s been walking aimlessly, thinking of the deadlines due for next week left on his desk and somehow his mind finds it way to think about _them_ again. It’s tiring, carrying this secret chained up in his chest and pretending it doesn’t exist. He’s exhausted waiting and watching them look somewhere else as if _Jinseong_ wasn’t right in front of their face. It’s been a year and a half and somehow, it really hasn’t gotten any better. It’s burnt his resolve to the ground and he doesn’t think he can hold it any longer. 

A numbing feeling that one; one that scrapes the insides of his chest and it is nothing less but torturing.

The skies cry so easily when they need to and Jinseong wishes he were the skies. The skies cry harder. Jinseong’s eyes can’t.

It’s been twenty-five and Jinseong starts heading back his dorms.

_Fuck it. Fuck you,_ Jinseong thinks and he laughs to himself almost maniacally and no one’s around. The paths are empty lest of some professors and he thinks, _Fuck all of you too. Stupid deadlines and idiotic fucking-_

His thoughts are deafeningly loud meshing along with the drowning sound of the harsh pitter and patter of the rain venting, letting the asphalt soak it all in. They’re so loud he doesn’t hear the rain thud against nylon and it’s stopped running along the strands of his hair and the wet sleeves of his grey cardigan. The feeling in his chest overflows along with his intrusive thoughts that he _drowns_ and can’t see past the fact there’s someone right there in front of him.

_“-seong! Jinseong!”_

When he’s snapped out of it, his eyeglasses are too wet to see who it is. Taking them off, he sees a blurred smile and worried eyes. 

_Oh,_ Jinseong feels his heart rest and the anger sinks down to the soles his feet, washing away along with the rain pooling and ebbing against the stone pathways. He knows that mop of hair and stupid pair of eyeglasses anywhere. That timbre of their voice and the kindness when they offer their handkerchief to them to wipe away the water off their face and glasses. 

“Idiot. Stop running away to where I can’t find you,” they huff and pout at Jinseong. “My phone died and Sangho wouldn’t let me text you and told me to find you myself.”

Jinseong feels his heart lighten and notices how the rain has mellowed out as he urges for them to walk back to his dorm room. He listens how they rant about how he had spent the last half an hour looking for him despite his _damned_ phone. He watches at how their lips quirk up in annoyance or a light smile and how their eyes are so _beautiful_ when they talk so animated like that. Jinseong knows it’s been a year and half since he’s met him and maybe he should have never gotten worked up over the lack of notifications. Especially when it was clear that they wouldn’t leave him to the dust like that.

“Idiot,” Jinseong calls them out for no reason and smiles at him as he elbows them at the side. 

God, he’s such a fool but he accepts this fact as easy it is for him to breathe, _he doesn’t think he can stay mad at Lee Sanghyeok._

**_ii. small talk_ **

It happens often, late afternoons like this with him, turning into coffee-filled nights and notes scattered over the desk and the bed. 

Sometimes, it’s just him in the room, scrolling through his phone and Sanghyeok sends him a text four in the morning and Jinseong lets him in. Jinseong lets him talk endlessly about his dreams which are sometimes nightmares. There are times when all they do is stay up watching Youtube videos only to realize there’s two hours left before their classes. It’s heartwarming, curled up in a small bed with blankets pooling around them and they laugh and argue as they watch. In the same way that Sanghyeok visits his room, Jinseong does the same. Though, most of the time, he talks about Sangho and how he wishes he’d taken another course.

Sanghyeok would always retort back, “Then you wouldn’t have met us.”

They talk for hours like it’s nothing and sometimes it really is just them existing in the same room, comforted by each other’s presence. 

More often than not, Sanghyeok talks of the possibility of getting a flat for the both of them. He entertains the idea but Jinseong knows that deep down, he must be saying this because he sees Jinseong as some kind of replacement. Sanghyeok’s waiting on someone and it’s not even _him._

Yet, Jinseong lets himself get roped into Sanghyeok’s late night walks and getting street food and coffee at three in the morning. Those hours— Jinseong engraves them deep into his heart that it hurts to think of a future where he can have all of that and more. It aches and yet he lets himself linger behind Sanghyeok and watch how his eyes twinkle and how he stays silent for what seems like hours until something catches his eyes. Often, he hears him laugh after making another one of those stupid jokes and a corner of Jinseong’s lips quirk up into a half-smile. 

He hates that Sanghyeok makes these stupid jokes. 

They make Sangho laugh and he wishes he could hate his junior for even laughing at something so lame. Sanghyeok has this weird humor Jinseong has yet to fully figure out. It’s amusing though, watching Sanghyeok still blush when dirty humor comes to play. It’s quite— _well,_ Jinseong has got to say it’s fun to watch Sanghyeok fumble around when Sangho and him joke casually about stuff like that nowhere. And just like how friends work, Sanghyeok watches how people react to his jokes just as Jinseong does when he makes them. _As if he’d ever laugh at them._

Thing is, Jinseong laughs at a couple of them. He tries to hold it in, pursing his lips tightly. Jinseong then follows it up, sighing, a hint of a smile dancing on his lips as he tells him, “I really might just punch you.” He’s in luck if Dongha is there to tune in and rant about how horrible his jokes are. Sanghyeok looks at him intently and does an amused face and finally leaves him be. 

It works most of the time. 

But then sometimes, Sangho and Taemin are there and they elbow his sides, letting it all spill like a dam and he sees how Sanghyeok smirks, satisfied. That makes all the difference for Jinseong, even if it lasts a couple seconds. He sees him light up and somehow Jinseong finds it alright to laugh at these idiotic dad jokes. 

He hates the jokes, but god help him so, because he can’t hate Sanghyeok. 

Sometimes, it feels like he does. 

He hates that Sanghyeok has enraptured him like this. His hands are bound and Jinseong can’t do a damn thing. Sanghyeok’s gotten his heart in a bind and it hurts to watch him from afar, loving everything about him even his clumsiness and stupid quips. It hurts to watch Sanghyeok slowly be crushed inside as he waits for that one person who left him for a transfer program. He hates how he’s waiting for someone to come back and love him as if Jinseong wasn’t sitting right by his side the entire time, mesmerized by his very existence. 

He hates that Sanghyeok checks his phone from a message from that person in the same way that Jinseong does when he waits for Sanghyeok’s messages. But, Jinseong knows that it isn’t the fact that Sanghyeok waits that frustrates him, making him want to punch Sanghyeok. He hates knowing that despite all the times they share together be it if they’re alone or with their other friends, Sanghyeok has locked away a piece of himself reserved for Wangho.

No, he hates the fact that if Wangho ever came back, Jinseong definitely wouldn’t stand a chance. 

He may not stand a chance but Jinseong likes to think in these quiet moments of the night, he _might_ just have a sliver of it. Everyone who knows him knows that Sanghyeok dislikes putting down his walls. He likes keeping to himself and yet, here he was— hair mussed up and eyes closed, sleeping on the desk. There’s soft music playing in the background which Jinseong often tunes down to be quieter and he gently lets his fingertips brush by Sanghyeok’s cheeks and reach for his glasses, taking them off and setting them down. 

It is moments like the ones in the morning where Jinseong reminds Sanghyeok to get a good night’s rest in his own dorm instead. 

“It’s almost finals month, Jinseong,” Sanghyeok drawls out the end of his name as he slides up next to him and gives him his cup of coffee. 

“I like staying over,” Sanghyeok reasons out as he quickly checks Jinseong’s pantry. “Should we order tonight? Chicken?”

Jinseong hums in approval. “Mhm. Have fun in your morning class.”

_“Die,”_ Sanghyeok jokes, a playful smile gracing his face, as he fumbles out the room.

Jinseong finds himself laughing and tells himself to stop dreaming for more than this. 

**_iii._ _apartment_**

When he’s grabbing food after talking endlessly with Siwoo, he shoots a quick text to Sanghyeok.

_> > want some food? _

He shoves it back into his pocket and turns to Siwoo who complain about Dohyeon not offering his notes and messed up their shared flat. Jinseong jabs at him for being the messier of the two and the banter goes back and forth very seamlessly. 

“You’re lucky you have Sanghyeok-hyung, at least he’s better than Dohyeon.”

Jinseong hums to himself, smiling cheekily. _“Sure,_ if that’s what you’d like to think.”

He thinks of the mess of boxes Sanghyeok didn’t bother to clean up when they moved in and how he had decided to avoid doing it until Jinseong bribed him with no dinner for the rest of the week. Jinseong fondly thinks of how sometimes Sanghyeok loses the keys and how he had forgotten about laundry day yesterday. He reminds himself of the times Sanghyeok visits his room to grab shirts and hoodies from Jinseong’s closet for his clothes due to the lack of clean clothes. Jinseong loves the way that a lot of the people who know him think he’s not disorganized, messy or clumsy but Sanghyeok is all of that and so much more. He’s glad that even though Sanghyeok is a bit cheeky with how he gets around being all of those bad traits, he makes up for it.

Like that one time he made dinner and it wasn’t all that bad but they’d decided to get takeout right after anyway. And how everyday, Sanghyeok makes him a cup of coffee the way he likes it and grabs him his favorite drinks from the convenience store. He always placed it right by Jinseong’s desk and leaves saying nothing.

Jinseong knows that though Sanghyeok can talk for hours with him, he’s still very private to himself and a bit awkward at times. To him, it’s always about his actions speaking thousands of words. Sanghyeok writes essays out of the brewed coffee every morning and how he helps him out, giving notes, and especially when he sits by Jinseong’s side of his bed and lets his head rest. 

“But, hey, you’re right, hyung’s a great roommate.”

Siwoo jabs his side. “You’re only saying that because you like him.”

Jinseong mockingly gasps and hits Siwoo on the shoulder playfully, “What ever do you mean? Last I checked, everyone thought we were together.”

Siwoo laughs as he opens the door to the restaurant. 

“Ah, Jinseong, you really have to stop lying to yourself. You’ve got a horrible poker face.”

Jinseong tilts his head and hums disapprovingly. It’s funny how everyone’s been saying that to him lately.

He laughs, lacking humor, dead eyes staring at Siwoo, “Ha. Ha. Very funny,” Jinseong huffs and looks around as he lets Siwoo order their usual, “I don’t know what’s with you all, but you guys have to stop telling me that.”

Siwoo scrolls through his phone for a while, silence making its waves around them, though only lasting for a minute or so.

“Why? It’s true though. You like him, just accept it and do something about it,” Siwoo looks straight at him and says it firmly.

“Aish, Taemin said the same exact thing,” Jinseong purses his lips and takes out his phone, checking for messages. “He’s just my close friend, is all, c’mon now Siwoo.”

He’s lying of course, but it’s annoying now that he realizes everyone close to him has an inkling about it. But, what’s bothering him more is that Sanghyeok hasn’t replied to his text. It’s not like him not to reply when it came to food. Jinseong tchs to himself and sends another text. 

_> > you okay? i’ll bring home food. with siwoo rn. be home soon._

He leaves at that and when he looks up, Siwoo is smiling craftily at him.

“Jinseong you’re so transparent, it’s so fucking amusing.”

“Shut up,” Jinseong sighs, feeling sorry for the fact he’s itching to get home already and he’ll ditch Siwoo before they’ve even had food.

“You gonna go home?” Siwoo asks, reading Jinseong’s mind clearly. “It’s fine, really. I don’t mind.”

Siwoo sighs, “You better get your shit together Jinseong. Seriously, seeing you all serious like this is _so not you._ ”

Jinseong lets his jaw drop and flips him off before walking off to get the food wrapped up. He hands over Siwoo’s portions as they walk out.

“Say hi to your Dohyeon for me, yeah?” He catches a glance of Siwoo’s cheeks turn red and laughs. “Also, fuck you, Siwoo.” 

_“You too, little shit!”_

Though his afternoon with Siwoo during their day off gave him a chance to relax, but it bothers him Sanghyeok’s been acting off these days. Sanghyeok avoids him, almost as if a touch from Jinseong’s fingers will burn him whole. He sees how he’s holding it in, shoving it all down the bottle of his heart and Jinseong can do nothing about it. It feels like Sanghyeok is miles away, like he’s gone off by himself again, locking himself away from everyone.

It terrifies Jinseong that Sanghyeok is acting like this. 

It’s almost just like when he first met him. Distant, _pretending like he was alright._

Sanghyeok is far from fine when he finds him repeating the lines on the notes to himself, almost in a mantra. There are boughs of darkness hanging under his eyes focused on the wall, spacing out. His voice is dragging out, exhausted and sounding like a whisper. His hair is unkempt after the many times Sanghyeok must have scratched his head in frustration as he had studied. 

At first glance, he could have just assumed that Sanghyeok was in this state because of finals, but there’s a heaviness looming around Sanghyeok that Jinseong can see. Something Sanghyeok hasn’t bothered to tell him and it feels like a bit of an insult when Sanghyeok had told him himself that he’d try to tell him of all his troubles as they got closer over the years. 

Jinseong walks closer, tapping Sanghyeok on the shoulder and then squatting close by to him. He meets his eyes and there’s blues that glimmer through Sanghyeok’s pupils. He weakly smiles and Sanghyeok returns it, though in Jinseong’s opinion, it feels sadder than happier. 

“Hey there, hyung. Got you some food.”

“Let’s have some food in you, come on,” he urges him to stand up and they get to the table. Sanghyeok says nothing the entire time they have dinner. They split the food between plates and just like they always do, Sanghyeok gives more of the meat towards Jinseong’s plate. When they finish eating and Jinseong is about the wash the dishes, he walks over to Sanghyeok.

“Stop,” he grabs hold of Sanghyeok’s arms and sets him in place. 

Jinseong brushes Sanghyeok’s hair with his fingers and it finally looks less mussed up. “You should get a haircut.”

“I know. Should I go with you or Changdong?” Sanghyeok lets out a light laugh and Jinseong smiles along. 

Once the water turns on, flowing through their plates, Jinseong murmurs to himself, “For someone always telling me to take care of myself, he can’t do the same. _Tch.”_

Sanghyeok hovers close by and lets out a deep sigh, watching him and Jinseong feels the air change. 

“It’s just finals Jinseong. I’m fine, just a bit tired.”

Silence dances around them, Jinseong refusing to look back at Sanghyeok’s pair of eyes. Instead he thinks of the many times he’s caught Sanghyeok looking at old photos of him and Wangho. He thinks of how Sanghyeok must have been thinking of him lately and how he’s _not_ here. How Jinseong is right here and he aches inside. He aches, feeling numb, nerves feeling like they’re in statis. He wants to scream, yet his voice is nothing short of a whisper.

“You know, he might not come back and ever be here for you like before-” Jinseong turns to face Sanghyeok who is a couple centimeters too close. Sanghyeok turns away, backing, as if he had just finished studying Jinseong. 

_“-but I’m right here, hyung.”_

It’s a desperate cry of Jinseong’s heart dripping with all the truth he’s kept secret for so long. A cry of what his true feelings are. It aches, letting these words spill out of his lips. It’s unfair to Sanghyeok, making him choose when Jinseong knows it to be owned by someone else in another country. Tethered miles away and far from where Seoul is, where Jinseong stands right as of this moment, eyes begging for Sanghyeok to understand. It scratches against his throat, feeling bitterness sting through every whisper of a word. 

“It’s just finals week, Jinseong. Stop worrying so much,” he chuckles, but Jinseong hears how crafted it sounds, almost too perfect. _Liar._

“Help me later?” Jinseong backs down and changes topics.

Sanghyeok checks his phone once more and looks up at Jinseong with a sickeningly sweet smile so fake, “Sure.”

They work tonight and the same goes for the rest of the week. 

In those same couple days, Jinseong wills himself to try forgetting that Sanghyeok isn’t burdened. 

Yet sometimes, even when Sanghyeok is teaching him how to do this part of the equation, he’s reminded of it all. Sanghyeok speaks with a tiredness in his voice. Sometimes, Jinseong wishes he had met him much earlier than Wangho had.

Wangho who’s left Sanghyeok waiting by the sands of the sea, looking far into the stretched-out miles. Left him after saying he was going to be held down by him when he transferred. He remembers how Sanghyeok had first told him of all of this and how he sounded like his soul had been stolen by the reapers, voice so empty and broken. Jinseong reminisces of the time Sanghyeok had asked for a hug and buried his face into his chest, murmuring him not to look.

Yet all Jinseong could do was look down and see how small Sanghyeok looked like in his arms. That day, he had never wanted anything more but offer him with all the comfort Jinseong could offer with his heart. _Use me,_ his heart had screamed as his arms tightened their grip around him. _Use me to feel better._

Jinseong yearns, _Love me back. Use me to love again._ _Even if it hurts me._

Because nothing else would matter more even if his heart broke if Sanghyeok just stopped hurting himself from waiting.

Jinseong is tired of seeing Sanghyeok pretend like he’s alright and somehow they’re back right where they started.

He misses those stupid cheeky smiles where Jinseong doesn’t know what the idiot is laughing at in his head. He misses the sound of a groan and the soft hint of a smile after going at the keyboard once again. He hates that he’s two years younger than him and that sometimes it feels like he’s miles away from picking at Sanghyeok’s brain. But then again, Sanghyeok is still as easy to read as always.

The night before finals, Sanghyeok comes over to Jinseong’s room and he lets him fall right in place into the crook of his neck, laying his head on his shoulder. Sanghyeok falls asleep like that, the both of them not exchanging any words as he held Sanghyeok’s hand the entire time, tracing circles on the back of his hand. He’s not sure if it’s the haziness of the exhaustion of late studying but he swears he murmurs something back to Sanghyeok who whispers something close to his ear, warmth tickling his skin. He feels his eyes flutter heavily and falls asleep as the grip on his hand tightens and all of it feels _too perfect._ It almost felt like Sanghyeok had said he had loved him back.

But Jinseong knows it can’t be, because Wangho’s stolen him.

Jinseong should have never said yes to getting an apartment. 

**_iv. gone_ **

Sanghyeok is there until after finals week, he isn’t. Jinseong waits, because he’s left a note saying he’ll come back soon. Three days pass and Sangho is worried and Jinseong doesn’t know how to calm him but from saying, “He’ll be back.” 

Jinseong stops hoping on the fourth night. It makes rounds with the students of the same department who start spreading the idea he’s dropped university. Sanghyeok’s not like that and he knows that as well as himself. 

_Stupid fucking Sanghyeok, running off on his own and pretending like he’s fucking okay,_ Jinseong curses at the emptiness of their shared space. 

At three am of the fifth day, their apartment is just as empty as Jinseong’s chat room with Sanghyeok. 

The door closes, keys clicking into place and Jinseong searches just as Sanghyeok had for him.

The skies rumble turbulently and it starts raining.

* * *

**_i. deleted tracks_ **

Sanghyeok watches Jinseong fumble like an idiot as they bring the last of the boxes into their apartment. 

A warm feeling floods over his heart as he hears Jinseong curse at how he had done all the brunt work and how Sanghyeok had done nothing. 

“I’ve got weak arms, hyung. You’re fucking cruel!” Sanghyeok laughs and takes a picture of Jinseong, eyebrows furrowed looking all funny as he clutches the box to his chest. The sound of a click goes off and Jinseong quickly drops the box to the ground, chasing after Sanghyeok. He rushes over to him, yelling for him to delete it repeatedly with a string of curses. It’s exciting, feeling this alive and so young despite all the pains life has been giving them recently.

Right now, it’s just him and JInseong messing around.

Jinseong catches him when Sanghyeok quickly stops in his steps and almost trips over one of the boxes on the floor. He grabs Sanghyeok’s arm and pulls him back to stability, turning him round to face him. Suddenly they’re too close and Sanghyeok’s staring right at his face, all flushed. Sanghyeok feels his fingertips burn, chest tingling and his heart beating sweetly like the beats of the drums in indie rock love songs. He bites his lower lip and lets a corner of his mouth raise up into an unsure smile. His eyes feel like they’re trembling as Jinseong stares right at him, a triumphant smirk on this damn kid’s face. 

Sanghyeok’s not blind. There’s a hint of _that_ look that glazes over Jinseong’s eyes but it quickly disappears as quickly as Sanghyeok notices it. It reminds him so well of the time Wangho had looked at him like that. He feels his heart wince as salt runs over the wound. He’s yet to understand why he occasionally catches Jinseong look at him that way. Last time he checked, he was sure the younger has always viewed him as nothing else but his _hyung_ and as a _friend._

He’s yet to comprehend why Jinseong looks a bit too pained when he hears of his past with Wangho which Sanghyeok has slowly been healing from. It is especially confusing when Sanghyeok gets a bit too down when he looks through old photos of them and Jinseong _notices_ too quickly when his oldest friends like Junsik accept it and move on with a sad smile. 

Even now, Jinseong confuses him when he takes a quick glance at his lips making Sanghyeok feel like he’s twenty-one and in a new relationship all over again. The growth of fluttering wings in the unsure emptiness of his gut brush past his chest and his lips burn, aching for something. Confusion riddles Sanghyeok’s mind when an amused smirk paints Jinseong’s lips and he chuckles, “Ha, made you run out of breath too, you ass.”

Sanghyeok swears he could have caught a glimpse of something else under that smirk, but JInseong stops talking before he can figure it out. _It’s screaming in pain from Jinseong’s heart_ , Sanghyeok can tell that easily. It’s frustrating learning that. More so, when he doesn’t know what to make of that spark of a moment between them. _What the fuck was that?_

Jinseong was so close, he could have just- _Sanghyeok, what the fuck?_

He shakes his head inwardly and forgets about this growing fleeting feeling that’s starting to burn its way all through the ribcage protecting his heart and lungs. He pounds against his chest, willing it to breathe for a moment. That moment when Jinseong had stopped him from tripping and turned him around—

_They were so close, as if they were magnets and right at the decisive moment, their poles retract and rebound._

Sanghyeok thinks back to what had had happened minutes ago and he finds himself drowning in Jinseong’s dark eyes searching for something in Sanghyeok’s. He catches himself thinking of how Jinseong’s grasp on his arm burned through his skin, everything feeling sensitive and how his breath had hitched, almost as he was in disbelief. Sanghyeok thought he knew Jinseong, but sometimes he confused him.

Especially now that the situation has reached detente, boxes slowly trickling their way into their rooms. 

His feet are bound to the ground, eyes mesmerized by the small details he starts noticing. He notices how soft the beige cardigan looks like on him and how the folds of the sleeves make his arms look prettier. Almost as if they don’t shake when he does exercise. Sanghyeok feels a chuckle rumble in his heart, thinking of the day they tried to work out together with the others. Back then, he hadn’t really paid much attention and yet now… he finds himself drawn to the way Jinseong’s hair has grown too long, the dye fading. He thinks of the time he had met Jinseong with dark hair then it had been quickly dyed to silver. Sanghyeok _had adored_ that color; he should get him to dye it again that way. It had made him look quite cute, especially with those cheeks Taemin and the others often teased him for. 

He had always wanted to tease him that way and now that he could, something felt off. As he watches, Jinseong solemnly carry his boxes to his room, Sanghyeok wonders if he had always looked this attractive. The thought lingers, his mind disassociating for a moment and his fingers raise to catch a candid shot of his side profile, a lighthearted look on Jinseong’s face. _It is beautiful._

He had wondered before they got this apartment whether Jinseong would be half-hearted getting a place together, but he looked content. Sanghyeok feels it creep up again, a feeling he knows too well and he tries to shove the feeling back down his guts, hoping it turns to acid. As he moves his own boxes, he catches himself glancing at Jinseong every now and then. He thinks of the possibilities that Jinseong might just lik-

Just like that, Sanghyeok almost lets himself think it is reality. 

Jinseong is his friend and nothing more, right?

***

A couple days later, they fall back into the same routine that they shared back in each other’s dorms.

Sanghyeok learns to forget that fleeting feeling and pretends like it doesn’t exist until he’s reminded of it when out with Sangho one afternoon. 

They had been taking photos together which Sangho wanted a copy of and he willingly handed over his phone to the younger. As the coffee cools, Sangho scrolls through the photos and Sanghyeok pores through the words on the pages.

Silence stretches between them lest of the mindless chatter of the people and then Sangho chuckles repeatedly. The younger notes how he’s going to definitely use the plethora of silly photos of Jinseong as blackmail.

All of a sudden, Sanghyeok regrets letting Sangho touch his phone. 

More so when Sangho lets out a confused hum. “Oh, what’s this?” 

“Jinseong-hyung’s looking way too pretty in this one,” Sangho grins, amused. 

Sanghyeok knows quite well which photo this is. It’s the very same one that he had taken after _that_ had happened between them. 

He doesn’t understand why he even took it when all Jinseong was doing was hauling a box back to his room and it’s _just_ a stupid _side profile_ in which he looks a tad bit too pretty. He had stared at that photo trying to figure out what it was in that moment that made his heart feel so breathless and mesmerized by Jinseong. He knows the answer is there, but it doesn’t sound quite right. Jinseong was just his roommate. _His friend. A fellow student of the same class._

Instead of answering Sangho with his concerns of why he took that photo, he reasons out, “Hm, was testing the camera quality.”

He turns the next page of the book and decides to drown himself in these paragraphs, hoping Sangho drops the subject. Of course, he doesn’t. 

Sanghyeok hears Jinseong’s voice in his head referring to Sangho, _‘He’s a cheeky little shit, trust me.’_

He’d like to agree, but Sanghyeok adores Sangho even when he’s like this. It’s a bit endearing, dare if he says it— _cute._

“Ah, hm-“ Sangho stares at him, a knowing look in his eyes and as expected, a shameless smile growing on his lips. 

“You guys are bad liars.” Sangho glances at the takeout pastry Sanghyeok has bought for Jinseong.

Just when Sanghyeok thinks Sangho has dropped the subject, he hears him hum softly. 

“Just so you know, he has a sensitive heart.”

“I know,” Sanghyeok replies curtly.

_Of course he does._

He knows how Jinseong wears his heart on his sleeve most of the time that it almost makes Sanghyeok feel like he’s taking care of a dog in their own home. Jinseong laughs at almost everything and puts his all in everything and drowns himself in trying to be better for his grades. He knows how disappointed the younger gets very often when he doesn’t perform as he had expected. Jinseong thinks he can handle it by himself, but god help him so, everyone knows he can’t. Not with a soft heart like that. 

It’s all in how Jinseong wears this pained look like he’s carrying Sanghyeok’s burden for him when he catches a hint of him getting slightly sad over his past relationship. Or how he gives up after trying to fight back for the clothes he steals from his closet. 

But especially so when, Jinseong lets him just sit next to him and lets him be _Sanghyeok_ right next to him. 

It is comfort, Sanghyeok understands it well now, but then it makes his eyes grow wide for a moment. 

_Had it always been like that with Jinseong? Had Jinseong always been that close to him?_

He feels a rush of fear enter his system and he tries to drown it out with the coffee he’s ordered, the touch of the parchment against his fingertips and the inked words on them, and how Sangho greets him goodbye with a knowing look as they part ways for home. _Is it like Wangho again?_

It weighs on his mind, making the walk home seem like it’s stretched for miles. As he unlocks the door, he finds Jinseong sitting on their table, hair mussed up and still as long as he remembers. The blonde dye was really wearing off. His glasses have slipped all the way down his bridge and his lips are pursed, and then—

Jinseong looks right at him with those beautiful eyes close to the color of beer and the oak table they have. He smiles and urges him to join and all he hears is how soft and warm his voice akin to the honey glazed chicken he quite likes. He notices how the Jinseong’s glasses are drooping down too close down the bridge of his nose. He is right _there_ looking at him, through his soul and he feels like he’s just bared his feelings to Jinseong, but if he did know anything, he says nothing about it. His heart asks once more in fear, _Is it like Wangho again?_

He wonders if it is, but Jinseong is smiling and _he is nothing else but Park Jinseong._ He isn’t _him._

As he walks over and joins him for a late lunch, he realizes, _Oh. I-_

_I fell in love with him._

**_ii. b-side_ **

The next couple days before finals, he drowns himself in photos of the past with Wangho. He thinks of Wangho after what feels like years, feeling old bitterness stain his throat and his chest and it dulls away like rust scrubbed away. On many ocassions, he finds himself thinks of what could’ve been if only he had stopped him from leaving his grasp. Somehow, his heart finds itself walking through the emptiness as he scrolls through old photos. There are instances he feels the occasional longing, but the thorns that have twisted its way around his lungs and heart have long burned now. Sanghyeok hopes in some sick kind of way to hurt again and miss Wangho like he had used to. 

It feels foreign now, missing his touch and his sweet words. 

He thinks of Wangho and somehow, the daydreams of past memories blur into reality where Jinseong is right there in front of him. 

It has been weeks since he had noticed the little things about Jinseong and yet he finds new things to be mesmerized about. Just like how Jinseong bites on his lips and has eyes that restlessly wander when he’s nervous. Or how he yells at people to stop complimenting him, getting a bit too embarrassed, his voice getting too high and too loud. Sometimes, Sanghyeok notices how Jinseong spaces out, thinks for a while and clucks his tongue against the roof his mouth. One would think he’d have something to say or rant about, but instead Jinseong smiles to himself or he sighs deeply as if the weight of the world were upon his shoulders. 

But recently, Sanghyeok has been stealing glances at Jinseong’s lips, mesmerized at the thought of what could have been’s. It it nothing short of torturous, when Jinseong notices he’s looking and he has to quickly shy away and look back at his notes. It is difficult to think of Jinseong who rattles his mind endlessly and leaves him confused at the end of every thought. Especially when they’re just trying to work, prepare for the dreaded finals week. Even more so when Sanghyeok’s trying to keep this stupidly huge secret to himself after having only found out he even had one a week ago. Somehow, he finds it easy to drown in thoughts of the maybes with being with Jinseong _that_ way. Almost as if it was nothing short of what they were already doing.

There is turbulence in his own chest, clouds rumbling and clouding over his heart’s devices and stopping his lungs from breathing. Sanghyeok tries to convince he is anything but in love, but gods help him so, because it seems like it’s the truth.

It’s scary when Sanghyeok thinks it through, because he can’t do that to him. It hurts that he can’t tell him.

Sanghyeok hates himself for avoiding Jinseong almost all week, pretending like he’s still got it together. 

A piece of his days feels empty, despite Jinseong being there the entire time in this house. _He aches to be close to him._

He wishes he could spend their nights resting watching stupid Youtube videos again. He feels like a fool wishing for something he might never get when he knows if he tells Jinseong anything of this burning wildfire in his chest, Jinseong will force himself in and burn along with him. Jinseong doesn’t deserve to be in ruins because of him, not when he’s perfectly fine just as he is. Perfect in the ways his smile makes Sanghyeok feels like he’s home itself and how he jokes around and how beautiful _he just is._

He thinks of the sparks and fireworks that could have set off if he had leaned in when Jinseong glanced at his lips that day.

Sanghyeok drowns out the fire and sighs deeply in the emptiness of the night, thinking that they really shouldn’t have gotten this apartment. 

Not if it made things this complicated. Yet here they are, a night before finals and everything feels so simple. 

Sanghyeok tires of the silence with unspoken topics and he finds himself apologizing. He knocks on the door and lets himself and slinks his way under the blankets of JInseong, _into his comfort_. The comfort that engulfs Sanghyeok whole and makes him dizzy with warmth. 

He thinks of Jinseong’s sensitive heart, how soft his hands are right now drawing circles on the back of his hand and how _it just feels so right._ He drowns himself in this warm feeling and he’s terrified and calm all at the same time and maybe it’s the way Jinseong is humming a bittersweet melody to himself as the moonlight sifts through his curtains. The blankets pool along their legs as Sanghyeok nuzzles closer, letting his head rest easy on Jinseong. Sanghyeok murmurs something about being over Wangho and how he’s sorry that he worries Jinseong like that. He knows Jinseong accepts the apology as he rests his own head on Sanghyeok’s and whispers that he forgives him in a gentle tone. He doubts Jinseong will remember that when he’s this exhausted. 

It is right there and then, before he dozes off that he decides to leave for a while after finals week. He yearns for the soft sounds of the waves and thinks of the peace and quiet there. Sanghyeok wonders if he’ll even miss Jinseong. It’s stupid he even considered not missing him when just thinking about it, already makes him do so, despite him being right here next to him. Sanghyeok thinks of this perfect feeling right now in his hand and gives up in defeat to his heart. Maybe it isn’t such a bad thing, having fallen in love with him. 

He thinks of the cold seas and drowns in Jinseong’s warmth.

* * *

**_v._ ** **_seashore_ **

Jinseong finds himself his sneakers sinking in sand in the late hours of four in the morning. 

The skies are dusted with bright stars, much clearer than the one in the cities. Clouds kiss the moon and their reflections reach into the seas whispering to the cold breeze. The waves softly chatter, rushing against currents of each other and they quiet as they leave temporary marks of their existence. The stars litter the sea, wavering along the ripples of the waters as if the sky were glitching out. The lit lamps near the beach shone dimly against the sand, moths circling around the bulbs, searching for its purpose at the unreachable light. 

It’s just like Sanghyeok said, it was a truly stunning sight. 

He finds himself standing at awe at the sight before him. The sand is being tamed by the wind, footsteps disappearing as the seas yell from the shallowest of depths to the deepest through their foaming currents. He watches as the clouds start trickling in with hues of lavender and dark violets, tainting the skies and the moon shying away with the stars starting to hide, seeking the darkness of midnight. Dusk paints itself slowly in strokes as Jinseong sighs almost disappointed in not seeing him here. 

Sanghyeok had told him once that he loved beaches. He loved the scenery and how he had spent his childhood often there. He had described the seas and the way they sounded and how he enjoyed the tranquility of it when the later afternoon started basking its way into the night. He had told Jinseong how the stars looked clear and how he used to wish he would be able to touch one as a child. He made Jinseong promise that they’d go to the closest one when their break started and show him. 

It infuriates Jinseong that he’s here alone and they didn’t even go together. _They had promised after all._

He checks his phone, the blue light illuminating his skin. The chat room is empty, the messages still left at read. He dwells on the emptiness of it all, their messages left at a halt and their apartment left to dust. It feels awkward, moving through the currents of life with Sanghyeok’s existence missing and left to wade away in mystery. He had messaged Junsik out of nowhere, having gotten his number a long time ago, asking if he knew where Sanghyeok was. He had replied with a mere, “He’ll come back, don’t worry.” 

Jinseong wants to believe in it, but he knows Sanghyeok has a habit of losing himself to empty thoughts. He delves in thoughts, oceans of them, some of them he keeps to himself and others he spills. Occasional thoughts are sometimes reduced to glassy eyes.

He wonders what storm Sanghyeok has left running rampant in his mind that he couldn’t let out those lips of his.

Those very lips that Jinseong often lets himself daydream about in their own home. Time and time again, when the sunlight hit just right or when Sanghyeok was simply smiling or frowning, he would let his mind wander and think of the ways he’d kiss them. He would ask him through the action itself slow and steady and he would let himself be taken whole by the adoration of the softness of it all.

He wonders and wonders but reality blurs and dulls it for him, scalding him with the harsh heat of the truth— _he won’t kiss back, because he has Wangho._

He loses himself in these thoughts, eyes trained to the waters slowly turning shades of vermillion and blood red along with the violets that melt along the prismarine blues of the dusk. Strokes of dawn are slowly being painted in as it turns five thirty. The soft light graces the beige of the sand and the shells. 

His sneakers sink in deeper as he loses all the hope Sanghyeok was ever here. He turns away, shoelaces dragging against the sand, leaving traces of his existence, soon to be swept away by the breeze. He fiddles with his fingers in the pocket of his hoodie, the tips feeling chilly to the touch. He wonders how much longer it will be until he sees Sanghyeok and be able to warm these hands again. He sighs, eyes fluttering close in disappointment as he trudges back back his way to his rented room just close by. He feels a ghost of a figure pass him as he continues, eyes drawn into his screen as he scrolls through old photos. He even finds himself laughing at a horribly funny photo of Taemin and him looking a tad bit too drunk at the karaoke. 

Jinseong switches to his camera and decides he’ll take a photo of their beach for Sanghyeok when he comes back. He halts his footsteps, knowing this far view is good enough to make a wonderful photo for him to like. He turns and raises the phone, his thumb hovering over the shutter button. He catches sight of the beauty of the clouds looking much pinker now, soft clementine shades seeping into it along with the lavenders. The stars have been replaced by the soft blue embracing the warmth of the dawn and the moon is slowly being swallowed by the haziness of the skies. The rays of the sun soon to wake, desperately reach out to the clouds and the waters.

He lets out a small breath, the smell of the salt strong, and he captures the stunning scenery.

_It really is beautiful, just like Sanghyeok said it would._

He takes another, then _another, then—_

Jinseong sees a peak of a silhouette appear on his screen. 

His eyes tear away from the camera and surely it isn’t him because _it just can’t be._ Yet, Jinseong catches sight of a jacket he’s washed too often in the laundry and he stops breathing. He squints harder as he finds himself returning to the shore, the sand getting in his sneakers. 

His feet quicken almost as fast as his heart is beating.

It is not him, Jinseong wants to believe, but as he gets closer, he realizes he knows this person. 

He knows that mess of a head, that pair of glasses and he knows that gait all too well. Most of all, he’s got that height memorized and when that person turns to look at the stretch of the beach, Jinseong’s heart nearly stops _because god help him so,_ those lips— _Those eyes and that nose and stupid smile. He knows it._

Just as the sun’s rays have laid its touch on the clouds, its light paints his skin with the soft strokes of sunrise shades. 

When he is five steps away, he stops, his arm only a reach away. _Why does he seem so far away?_

Four steps and he feels and then doesn’t know what to feels because it is him. 

Step number three and his fingers tingle with anxious flames under his skin.

Two more and his mind wracks itself for what words to say.

There is one left and he says, “ _Hi, hyung.”_

The heat of the dawn burns along with the anxious beat of his heart as Sanghyeok meets his eyes. 

It has been nearly five days and when Sanghyeok meets his eyes, he feels his chest rattle, demanding the door of his heart to be let loose.

It shakes, the bolts of it coming off whilst he searches Sanghyeok’s face. They run rampant in him and it’s probably across his face because Sanghyeok unapologetically smiles at him. It is all too warm and he greets him back, his name sounding too soft and laced with joy. It is a smile Jinseong has never seen, eyes crinkling for a moment and _god fuck,_ his chest spills a damn flood and Jinseong breathes out Sanghyeok’s name as if it’s like his grace. He catches him in an embrace and breathes him in, his hands tracing his shoulders trying to remember every piece of him. 

Almost as if five days were enough to make him forget about everything he knew about Sanghyeok. 

He can’t, but he holds him for what feels like hours and Sanghyeok chuckles, his laugh reverberating through Jinseong’s own chest. “Miss me much?” 

Jinseong breaks the embrace and proceeds to punch Sanghyeok’s shoulder. “Fuck you. Actually fuck you.”

“First, you worry me before finals and then you leave after apologizing making it seem as if you actually lik-“

Jinseong halts in his rant and chokes on his own words, realizing what he was about to say. “You, fuck— tell me next time! Take me with you or whatever! I hate how it feels at home when I’m all alone. You even got Sangho worried, you ass.” 

“I was going to come back today, Jinseong. You didn’t have to worry,” Sanghyeok punches him back playfully as he turns to watch the sea.

A breeze passes by and the waves crash against the sand. “How did you remember?”

His voice is light, curious and yet Jinseong notices how Sanghyeok won’t look at him. 

“How could I not?” _You promised to take me here._

Sanghyeok hums. “Sorry, I went alone. After all, I had promised to take us here.”

“The stars were pretty this morning. I was watching it from my room.”

“Just like you said they would,” Jinseong smiles sadly, thinking back to the melancholic hours when he had wished Sanghyeok was there too.

The silence sinks into their conversation, the sound of the crashing waves slowly becoming deafening. Jinseong listens to how Sanghyeok shuffles next to him and he _just_ knows he’s fiddling his fingers, an unsure look on his face. He can feel the want to say something from Sanghyeok and how he’s trying to find his way to start the words, his throat choking on every syllable. He waits patiently like he’s always done and lets his hand find Sanghyeok’s and holds it in place softly, running his thumb back and forth. _It’ll be fine, just say it. It’s just me._

“That day, when we finished moving in the last of our things. That day-“

He looks at Sanghyeok, almost in disbelief. What about that day was he even worrying about? Is this what-

_“Did you mean to kiss me?”_ Six words stop Jinseong’s train of thought and he thinks, _oh._

After that, Sanghyeok’s sea of words tumble out like a dam, nonstop and unforgiving. It stuns him when Sanghyeok shakes off his hold on his hands and grabs a fistful of his hoodie, and then looks right at his eyes fiercely. Jinseong can’t decipher what he wants. What did he want him to say? _Yes, I did?_ _Yes, I wanted to pull you in and kiss you like I’ve always wanted?_ They all sounded like stupid answers.

“Would you have kissed me?” His voice grows quieter, the grasp on his hoodie becoming loose, almost as if was in defeat at the lack of an answer. 

He then follows it, voice a bit louder, “Would you have kissed me if you didn’t think I was hung up on Wangho?”

Jinseong feels reality shatter, the sound of the waves suddenly ringing against the rush of blood in his ears.

“I- you’re being really cruel right now.” He stares at Sanghyeok and furrows his eyebrows, because _there is no way he is over Wangho._

“You can’t just say that and expect an answer! You think hearts are that easy to break or something? If you do, then fuck you hyung!” He pushes him away, his throat feeling trapped, words becoming stones and scratching regret against his throat. His lips feel blue and cold and his heart slowly stops beating, the harsh reality finally swallowing him alive. 

“You’re so fucking cruel saying that. You can’t use me! I’m not him!”

Sanghyeok pulls him back in, his hands gripping tight on his arms setting them still.

“It drove me crazy thinking about it. Thinking about what could have happened.”

Sanghyeok is looking up, right at him and his grasp burns through his skin. _“Thinking about you, Jinseong-ah.”_

His voice is soft, like a whisper just like how the waves quiet when they reach the sand, the screams of their heart’s depths ready to leave marks on the sand.

“Tell me, would you kiss me right now?” 

“I-” Jinseong’s breath grows short. 

His tongue feels heavy, heart bursting— _why must you be so complex, hyung?_

Jinseong looks down at Sanghyeok and _god, of course he wants to. He really wants to. He’s right there, graced by the sun and he’d love nothing more. He wants to hold Sanghyeok like he’s his world, gentle and in all the right places that makes him fall apart at the seams. He wants and wants-_

Sanghyeok’s hands fall to his side, eyes wavering and a sigh let out. Jinseong reaches out slowly, his fingers touching his skin and he raises it close by Sanghyeok’s cheek. Eyes searching him, he inches closer and he sees the how the sunlight overflows through the lenses of Sanghyeok’s dark pupils. Strands of his overgrown hair hover over those very eyes and _he is so damn close. So beautiful and he is right here, begging for Jinseong’s answer._

He lets his thumb run against his cheek and Jinseong breathes out a whisper he’s long yearned to say for months, _“Yes.”_

Their first is chaste and quick, their eyeglasses temporarily clinking against each other. They linger, eyes closed, their breaths right upon each other’s lips, warm like candle-lit fire. Jinseong is burning, _he wants more, god please let me kiss you once more._

_“Please.”_ It’s not Jinseong’s voice that comes out but Sanghyeok’s. He begs, _“Jinseong, please.”_

Jinseong’s hand travels from his cheek to the valley of his neck, thumb resting on his jaw and the rest his fingers fumbling alongside his ear. They are awkward, pushing and pulling, like they’re scared to break each other and he can hear how Sanghyeok breathes his name out, small and needy, when their lips crack away to breathe.

He holds Sanghyeok, soft and gentle, like he’s always wanted to and their kiss falls and _falls_. Sanghyeok breathes him in, his kisses tasting like sea salt and feeling like they’re the very currents of the waves that hit the soles of their sneakers. Sanghyeok’s lips are soft, pliant and _so loud_ \-- He is so _damn loud about what he wants._ He wants and wants and he takes Jinseong in. His hands reach out to Jinseong, searching for an anchor nowhere to be found. Sanghyeok pulls him in, his hand resting on Jinseong’s side.

They drown in each other, rising and falling all at once like the waves of the sea, trying to find the shore. Jinseong feels like he’s burning and blooming with life all at once, heart swelling.

_Sanghyeok has wanted this,_ Jinseong realizes this. 

They part time and time again for small moments and yet they come right back to each other. 

His chest is a wildfire gone loose, ribcage, heart and lungs set unapologetically to fire and yet it feels like he’s breathing just fine. They push and pull, Jinseong kissing the edges of Sanghyeok’s mouth, whispering all the thing he’s always wanted to say through this catharsis of kisses. A string of confessions peppered across Sanghyeok that he hopes never to be forgotten by the elder. He traces maps with his fingers across Sanghyeok’s nape and then weaves it through the strands of hair that has gotten too long. Sanghyeok leaves his own answers against Jinseong’s lips, wishing for him to believe them to be true. 

When they part, the first thing that comes out of them as they breathe is _laughter._

They laugh, Sanghyeok’s head buried in the crook of his nape, feet slightly raised to reach his height as he embraces the other. Jinseong holds him even closer, their chests flaming and stained with ashes of unsaid words. His hands rest around his waist and _it feels just as right as the night before finals._

Their laugh sounds like flames crackling and sunlit rays of the morning. They laugh, grins on their faces, thinking of the stupidity of it all.

“Asshole,” he says into Sanghyeok’s ear. “Made me wait this long.”

Sanghyeok lets out another chuckle and Jinseong feels his chest bloom with fluttering heat. 

He holds him much closer, and thinks of _how alive Sanghyeok feels against his skin and in his arms. He thinks of the mere two years of an age gap and how it should feel like they’re miles apart from ever understanding and yet here they are—_

Their sneakers drag across the sand, walking farther and farther from the shore.

Jinseong says, “We should get a haircut. Your hair’s a mess again.”

“Let’s dye your hair silver again if I’m getting mine cut.”

Jinseong exclaims, surprised anyone actually liked how the silver looked on him. “Blond works perfectly fine! I can-no. Blond does just fine.”

“You only say that because you wanted to look like a game character!”

“Sangho likes it! He said he liked the blond better than silver!”

Sanghyeok then turns to look at him, “Fuck you, Sangho likes me better.”

“Sure, sure, fine. We’ll settle this when we get home,” Jinseong grabs a hold of his chin and kisses the edge of Sanghyeok’s mouth. He walks on, leaving a flustered Sanghyeok behind. He watches as Sanghyeok slowly riles up a bit only to give up in a minute or so.

Sanghyeok captures the scenery on the way back, a satisfied look on his face.

Jinseong watches, only a couple steps ahead, looks back at Sanghyeok. _Ah, fuck, that’s really cute._

As they walk back to get their backpacks, Jinseong thinks of reminding Sangho of the many times he’d treated him out. He knows he’s losing the fight when they get back. After all, Sangho does like Sanghyeok better. When they give the keys back to the receptionist, they walk over to the bus stop just a couple blocks ahead.

There Sanghyeok scrolls through his phone, smirking to himself as he texts a couple people. Jinseong’s almost sure he’s texting Sangho, no doubt. He watches the cars pass by, the tires zooming against the asphalt. The sounds of the waves are still clear in Jinseong’s ears, though the shore is far now. He wonders when they’ll come back here.

Fifteen minutes come and pass by, and soon the bus rolls up, only a mile away.

Sanghyeok looks at Jinseong as they stand up, ready to get on as the bus pulls up.

“Hey, Jinseong, why were you looking at me so hard just a while ago?”

“Hmm, nothing,” he replies, a smile gracing his lips.

Sanghyeok looks at Jinseong and grins, eyes crinkling.

_“Sure, whatever._ _Let’s just go home.”_

**Author's Note:**

> this is to those who are lost inside and looking. even to those that are trying to move on. 
> 
> i hope one day, you find the sea to your shore, the sol to your solace. even if it isn't a 'someone'. 
> 
> i never expected this fic to be this long, but i hope you enjoyed it either way. 
> 
> thank you for reading! (*´▽`*)


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